Wavering Faith

As I sit here listening to the news and enjoying the quiet of the morning, I am reminded of just how much God loves us. The book of Psalms has always been one of my favorite books in the Bible and I could not count how many times I have read that particular book. I know that God's grace can get us through any trying times that we might face. All Christians know that and yet, we allow our faith to waver in certain low times in our lives. I've always said that anyone that says they do not waver in their faith is not being honest because I believe at some time we all come to a point where we say "Why". The answer would be because God thinks we can handle it.

 I really did not plan for this blog post to start this way, but as I began to write the words began to flow so I quietly spoke with God and said that I would write whatever He needed me too. I have heard many stories this week from others sharing their faith for the correct decision in a certain circumstances. Each one mentioned praying and yet, wondering why something was not the way they wanted. Again, a simple answer, it is the way God wants it.

Twenty years ago today, God led my husband and I to the holy state of marriage. We were not going to get married in the middle of an ice storm, we were not going to get married in a nursing home, and we did not plan to have to plan our anniversary plans around the weather, but those were our plans. We had some problems getting our license due to technicalities and once we did, I just felt God saying, "Child, it is time". We called the man that I had chosen to marry us and made arrangements for him to meet us at the nursing home where my grandmother was and we called his parents and woke my mom up and asked my grandfather and brother if they wanted to attend our wedding. I believe that it was 4:30 p.m. and we were to be married in about 2 hours.

The staff at the nursing home was thrilled with our decision and said that we could have had a nice ceremony with decorations if they had known. Well, I might have told them earlier had I known. I honestly believe that our parents thought that we were absolutely crazy, but I knew it was right. I felt God with us and I knew that He had a reason for that certain moment. My grandparents were thrilled that we had included my grandmother.

I wore a beautiful teal colored dress that I had worn as a bridesmaid for a wedding just a few months before and my husband wore a pair of khaki pants and a shirt, (he is not a huge dressy kind of guy), It was a really nice ceremony in the hallway outside my grandmother's room and included just the parents, grandparents, and my brother and his family. My maid of honor and flower girl was my oldest child, that my husband eventually was able to adopt.

The weather outside was frightful and yet, I know God wanted us to get married that day and at that place. It is a unique story and one that I have reconsidered so many times, but I know it was God's plan. Life is not always planned out and things happen that we don't expect, but as long as God is in control we are fine.  Twenty years later, we celebrate our anniversary on a day that we are under a winter weather advisory with an ice and snow accumulation possible. Luckily, we were able to take a short trip yesterday to Bass Pro shop, which I had suggested and we were able to enjoy a nice dinner at Ponderosa. We were hoping to go to Outback Steakhouse, but I missed the road that it set on and was on the interstate again before I realized that I had gone the wrong way. Instead of blaming myself, I choose to believe that God was in control and did not want us to eat there.

To close this post, let me say "Happy Anniversary" to my wonderful, hard working husband.


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