Saturday, October 3, 2020
Good Saturday Morning! I decided that it was time that I share my news with you, my readers and friends. On Tuesday morning, I set out to deliver some Pink Zebra orders and have brunch with a friend. I expected to have a nice morning, do some work and then return home to work with my horse for a bit.
While enjoying my brunch, my husband called ( I will admit that I thought about not answering because I was with my friend). After I said hello, he said "Bridget ( our youngest daughter- the grand doll's mom) just had a baby in the toilet. Paramedics are on their way." I just set there stunned and MAD! I had questioned her about if she was pregnant and she said no multiple times, plus I did not want another grandchild as my grand doll is certainly my second half of me. I literally said, "I will be home later" and hung up! After a few minutes of a breakdown of being so mad, I could not talk or cry. I explained to my friend what happened and she was shocked, but agreed to drive my car back to her house or to the hospital for me to give me some time to think.
She asked if baby and mom were okay, which I didn't know and truly at the moment did not care. After a few minutes, I called my husband back and asked and he said that he thought they were. He said our daughter lost a lot of blood, but that the paramedics were here and that they were being cared for. He asked me to go to the hospital, which I really did not want to do, but I did.
After a couple of hours waiting in the hospital, I was allowed to go in to see both of them. My daughter did not look well and her blood pressure was extremely high, but the baby was perfectly healthy. She was 7 pounds 4 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long. She has reddish brown hair and blue eyes. Beautiful, but I just am still so mad, that I don't want to bond with her. I know I will and I will love her, but it is not the same as the instant bond with the first one.
My daughter says she is not aware that she was pregnant, but I don't believe it this time. She says that she had several pregnancy tests at the doctor, but all were negative, which I might believe as she had several negatives the last time. However, I feel that she knew and hid it. Which in turn put her life and the baby's life in danger. I don't feel she is equipped to handle two children and I am just mad.
Is it wrong to be mad? Is it wrong to not want to love this baby? Is it wrong to feel that I want her to have her tubes tied? Is it wrong to not want to help raise another one? I am praying and talking with God daily and I have faith that He put her here for some reason, but I truly have no idea as to how I am going to feel the same love that I do for the granddoll.
She is very unprepared for this child, so I am setting up a registry for her on Amazon and hopefully, she will step up her game and be a great mom for these two children. Here is the link to her registry, if anyone would like to help her with some of the essentials.
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