New Baby On The Farm

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Good Saturday Morning! I decided that it was time that I share my news with you, my readers and friends. On Tuesday morning, I set out to deliver some Pink Zebra orders and have brunch with a friend. I expected to have a nice morning, do some work and then return home to work with my horse for a bit. 

While enjoying my brunch, my husband called ( I will admit that I thought about not answering because I was with my friend). After I said hello, he said "Bridget ( our youngest daughter- the grand doll's mom) just had a baby in the toilet. Paramedics are on their way." I just set there stunned and MAD! I had questioned her about if she was pregnant and she said no multiple times, plus I did not want another grandchild as my grand doll is certainly my second half of me. I literally said, "I will be home later" and hung up! After a few minutes of a breakdown of being so mad, I could not talk or cry. I explained to my friend what happened and she was shocked, but agreed to drive my car back to her house or to the hospital for me to give me some time to think. 

She asked if baby and mom were okay, which I didn't know and truly at the moment did not care. After a few minutes, I called my husband back and asked and he said that he thought they were. He said our daughter lost a lot of blood, but that the paramedics were here and that they were being cared for. He asked me to go to the hospital, which I really did not want to do, but  I did. 

After a couple of hours waiting in the hospital, I was allowed to go in to see both of them. My daughter did not look well and her blood pressure was extremely high, but the baby was perfectly healthy. She was 7 pounds 4 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long. She has reddish brown hair and blue eyes. Beautiful, but I just am still so mad, that I don't want to bond with her. I know I will and I will love her, but it is not the same as the instant bond with the first one. 

My daughter says she is not aware that she was pregnant, but I don't believe it this time. She says that she had several pregnancy tests at the doctor, but all were negative, which I might believe as she had several negatives the last time. However, I feel that she knew and hid it. Which in turn put her life and the baby's life in danger. I don't feel she is equipped to handle two children and I am just mad.

Is it wrong to be mad? Is it wrong to not want to love this baby? Is it wrong to feel that I want her to have her tubes tied? Is it wrong to not want to help raise another one? I am praying and talking with God daily and I have faith that He put her here for some reason, but I truly have no idea as to how I am going to feel the same love that I do for the granddoll. 

She is very unprepared for this child, so I am setting up a registry for her on Amazon and hopefully, she will step up her game and be a great mom for these two children. Here is the link to her registry, if anyone would like to help her with some of the essentials. 

Comments

  1. SusieOctober 3, 2020 at 4:35 AM

    Wow..I am stunned, I can only imagine how you feel. Oh yes, you will love that baby, even while mad about it. Your daughter needs to seriously think of getting her tubes tied or at least being on birth control. Praying for all of you. Blessings to you, be brave. xoxo, Susie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CarolOctober 4, 2020 at 5:24 AM

      I want her to have her tubes tied, but changing birth control for sure since she has two children while on the other one. I hate to make the decision of her tubes with her only being 23, but not responsible to raise anymore!

      Delete
  2. photowannabeOctober 3, 2020 at 9:50 AM

    So understandable but through out all of this that precious baby is innocent and needs all the love that can be given. I believe God will give you what you need to be a good Grandma and I'm praying that your daughter will become a better Mother for the 2 children that are now in our crazy world.
    Not preaching ..just my caring about the innocent.
    Sue
    Thanks for finally sharing with us such an intimate happening.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnnOctober 3, 2020 at 11:50 AM

    Oh my, that must have been quite a shock. I'm sure that you are still processing it all. Praying for you and sending good wishes your way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CarolOctober 4, 2020 at 5:22 AM

      Thank you so much. Yes, shocked and stunned!

      Delete
  4. Ginny HartzlerOctober 3, 2020 at 12:14 PM

    We feel what we feel, and cannot help it. I think your feelings are neither right or wrong. What a shock, of course you were totally stunned. But this baby may turn out to be a great blessing. I hope your daughter will recover very quickly! Hang in there, and thank you so much for sharing!! Please keep us posted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CarolOctober 4, 2020 at 5:21 AM

      Ginny, I am thankful that you understand. I am sure the baby will be a blessing in some way and I believe God wanted her here for some reason, but I love my granddoll so much and I just don't want to have to share my love with another one right now.

      Delete
  5. bobbieOctober 3, 2020 at 2:15 PM

    So you are angry at a newborn baby... Get over yourself!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CarolOctober 4, 2020 at 5:20 AM

      Mad at my daughter, but not accepting of the child. You may not realize that she had another child 5 years ago that we had 19 hours to prepare for and this time multiple people had asked if she was pregnant and we were told she had been to the doctor and was told that she was not. Now, I find out that those were lies and now we have another child that she is not prepared for. Who picks up the slack? Her dad and I, so I have all reasons to be upset.

      Delete
  6. JeanieOctober 4, 2020 at 5:32 PM

    Wow -- well, that's a shocker. You have a lot of reasons to be upset (not to mention --really? Your daughter didn't have a clue that might be the case?). But you will learn to love this baby because I have a feeling she is going to need all the love she can get. You know, it will be awhile before she is old enough to interact with in the way your grand doll is -- Everyone will grow up and evolve together and it will be all right for you in time, I think. But it will take some getting used to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CarolNovember 13, 2020 at 3:56 AM

      Jeanie, with our first granddaughter there were no signs that she was pregnant. She had a pregnancy test in March with her and it showed negative and she had my granddoll in May. Also, the day before the first one was born, they had to do an ultrasound because the test showed negative and the doctor could not feel the baby. Whether she knew or not, I don't truly know. However, I know I will learn to love her, but it is just so hard now because I just have no feelings for her.

      Delete
  7. DianaOctober 15, 2020 at 11:16 AM

    Very understandable how you feel! I went through a situation not exactly like this but similar enough and it did take me a few years to feel close to the 2nd grandson as the first but all it took was time. I still took good Grandmom care of the 2nd grandson, like I would for any baby I was around, but the heart to heart love took a little bit of time. Sometimes my feelings seemed to overwhelm me but taking it one day at a time - sometimes one minute at a time - and I got through it and you will too. Best wishes for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CarolNovember 13, 2020 at 3:57 AM

      Thanks! It is good to hear that someone else has felt this way. I will take care of her when I need to, but I just don't feel the heart to heart love as I know I should.

      Delete
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