Domestic Violence

Today I will be helping a dear friend of my daughter finish moving her items from a home she shared with her ex. I am not aware of all the details, but I do believe that she was a victim of domestic violence. The words send chills up my spine as I lived it in my childhood.

My parents were married 18 years and I can't count the number of times that my mother was hospitalized with injuries at the hands of a man that supposedly loved her. I can't imagine what it must feel like when they first hit you and why anyone would stay. I know the lines of I love him, he said he won't do it again, etc. but it always happens again and how can you love someone that beats you?

I realize that years ago there was not as much attention brought to it as there is now and I realize that there must be a shame that goes along with admitting that you have been mistreated, but could that possibly be worse than the beatings? I don't imagine that it could be. I know low self esteem has a lot to do with those that stay, but I can only imagine that you feel worthless after that type of beating.

Black eyes and bruises covered with makeup are not love! Being threatened with harm for doing things that are normal is not love! Being kept from friends and family is not love! Being kept financially separated is not love! These are the things that an abuser does. They isolate, they threaten, and they mistreat you to keep you and that is not the way a real relationship works.

For anyone out there that is in that type of relationship, please know that there are resources available to help you. There is a domestic violence hotline that can aid you in finding help. That number is
1-800-799-7233. It is available for anyone that wants to call and talk to someone or to any one ready for help. There are many other sites out there but that is one of the best.
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